Where is Dad in the Grief Pecking Order ?

Sadly the above image is no joke , I really wish it was .

On a recent visit to support a newly bereaved family Dan Hill ( Director at Daddys With Angels ) Was taken a back by the complete disregard for the grieving father in the house by a Health Professional . 2020 and despite the claims by some big charities men still fall well below the mark for aftercare after a the death of a child.

In a age where Men’s mental health figures are disturbingly high , you would think that there would be a re-focus on ensuring the correct training was issued to professionals to better support dads . The loss of a child is not one sided , both parents and immediate family all feel the loss .

For me the kicker is the Professional asking about the family dog and never once enquiring how the Dad was .( See below for a quote from Dan’s post )

“Asked by extended family to support a newly bereaved couple I arrived at the same time as a medical professional and whilst I gripped my socially distanced cup of tea I witnessed proof that this still isn’t happening. The tiny coffin was sat in the lounge where mum was being comforted so we retired to the kitchen where I talked with dad whilst the family dog curled up in the corner. Medical person appears and says ‘how is she doing?’ It’s a perfectly reasonable question so I let it move on….. ‘Are your other children coping ok?’…… again I waited…. ‘awww look at him’ pointing to the dog ‘he must know somethings wrong…. bless him ’The dad just looked at me with the look I must have had throughout all my losses as the med pro walked back out of the room. I looked him straight in the eye and said ‘mate, how are YOU doing?’… he cried and unravelled, not only because of his grief but because someone had acknowledged that this loss was his as well. As I left I spoke to the med pro and said ‘mum, kids, dog….. do you think you could have asked dad?’‘ He looked like he was ok’ was her reply”

In a age where equality is shouted for , why are men falling so far behind , Yes men are less likely to speak out , does that make it ok , well in my opinion no it doesn’t, more should be done to encourage us to speak out about more important issues .

For more information on the work Daddys With Angels do, please visit there new Website Here

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